When I began writing Lament Forgive, I designed a mock paperback cover for it. On the front, I put my name in capital letters at the top, an isolated image of a bird underneath, and the title and sub-title at the bottom.

I imagine the disloyalty, betrayal, and abuse we suffer, as string that wraps around our heart and becomes tied in place each time a person wounds us. My assumption is, if you're asking this question, that there's a vast ball of string with many knots around your heart.

I'm going to tell you something I bet no-one has ever said to you before: It's good you're finding it hard to forgive.

I didn't set out to write a book about lamenting. I mentioned the lament in a small section of one chapter in my first draft, and by the time the last draft was completed it had taken over half my book!

The metaphor we use to express why we forgive is a form of advertising. It promotes a certain way of seeing things which leads people to either accept or reject the ideas being communicated.

When we forgive someone who has hurt us, it is rare for us to nail it all with a single I forgive you. This shouldn't really surprise us.

What surprised me most when I started forgiving wasn't how hard it was or that it made a difference to my relationships, it was that afterwards I experienced a tangible freedom to be my true self.